Worst Romance Novel Opening Ever Contest

I made up a little game. It’s kind of like a contest without a prize other than the satisfaction you get from knowing you were witty enough to participate. The object is simple. Create the worst opening line for a romance novel that you could think of. The more outrageous the better. I made this in haste and I still think it’s pretty darn good (but of course it’s my work so I am biased). Give it a shot, if you dare!

As Gertrude fixed her surgical stockings, she looked over at the new resident in the home and her heart skipped a beat. She wondered was this love at first sight, or just her pacemaker acting up again? Only time would tell.