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Attack of the Killer Dust Bunnies

Dear Advice Lady,

I could really use a bit of help and I really have no one else to turn to. I think the dust bunnies in my house are not as idle and harmless as they first appeared to be. I fear they might have started plotting against me in order to acquire more resources. You see, they have started gathering in large numbers but always in secret. Dust Bunny Large Enough To Have a Name

They hide behind the bookcase, under the bed, numerous places in the attic, and most recently, I found a large number of them gathered around the moldy half-eaten cookie that lives under the fridge. I often wonder if he is their leader. I have tried talking to him on many occasions but I am always ignored. I’ve never seen such an openly hostile cookie. I always thought cookies were supposed to be sweet!

How do I regain some control around the house without declaring an open act of war or disturbing their delicate ecosystem? I have tried sending in my gerbil, Inky, as a good will ambassador to their most populated regions but she was a disaster. She desecrated several of their sacred places with her teeth. Now, they are probably going to think I gave her the orders!

The one thing I have going for me right now is that they know I have the ultimate weapon at my disposal. I am not a violent person but if it ever comes to the point where it’s them or me, I will vacuum every inch of this house, so help me god!

Do you have any suggestions for me? I am getting desperate and a tad bit scared.

Sincerely,
Dusty Dolly
of
Walla Walla, Washington

The above is just a silly letter I wrote for the Trifecta Writing Challenge. This time around they are looking for stories/poems between the usual 33 and 333 words that conveys that something is idle but the word idle must also be used. The exact definition of idle they are looking for is shiftless and lazy or a person with no obvious means of support. This one is fun. You should try it! Are you feeling too shiftless and lazy to give this a go? I managed to do this and I’m sick as can be. So, no excuses… stop being idle and get to writing!

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59 thoughts on “Attack of the Killer Dust Bunnies

    • Of course I am not offended. Thank you so much! I have been nominated for awards so often lately that I am going to end up with a real ego on my hands (or not). I’m going to have to put something up soon to thank everyone. I am so lazy sometimes…

  1. I don’t even want to think about the dust bunnies under my bed. The fact that they may attack is a real possibility. Sneezing is no laughing matter.

    • Sneezing is definitely no laughing matter, I agree. Especially as I sit here sneezing and hacking to death. I must ask myself, is my entire household really sick with a virus, or is this just some dust bunny bioweapon attack?

  2. You have made me smile because of your reference to Yo Gabba Gabba in one of your comments. As weird as this may sound, I have “Party in my Tummy” on my iPod, along with a couple of other great songs from the show, too. As kids shows go, Yo Gabba Gabba had some really cool music and some really cool guest stars, too. I think that Jack Black was my favourite. I know I am way off topic but, thanks anyway, for giving me some happy thoughts to end my day. Off to listen to “Happy birthday” by Ting Tings. Good night. πŸ™‚

    • I know little of Yo Gabba Gabba other than the fact that my niece is obsessed with it. She has the episode with that song on it on a portable DVD player that she likes to watch before naps. I think I must of heard that song at least a million times by now. It’s a cute show for little ones but man, it makes my head hurt (as do all kid shows).

  3. I like your humor in this! Oh, if the dustbunnies under the fridge, stove, washer and dryer get together, they could stage a revolt that could drive me out of my own house! I’d better get a longer nozzle for that vacuum, you know, for safety’s sake πŸ™‚

    • “Oh, if the dustbunnies under the fridge, stove, washer and dryer get together, they could stage a revolt that could drive me out of my own house!” Who knows what evil plans they are concocting as you slumber.

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