Home » Fiction » Worst Romance Novel Opening Ever Contest

Worst Romance Novel Opening Ever Contest

I made up a little game. It’s kind of like a contest without a prize other than the satisfaction you get from knowing you were witty enough to participate. The object is simple. Create the worst opening line for a romance novel that you could think of. The more outrageous the better. I made this in haste and I still think it’s pretty darn good (but of course it’s my work so I am biased). Give it a shot, if you dare!

As Gertrude fixed her surgical stockings, she looked over at the new resident in the home and her heart skipped a beat. She wondered was this love at first sight, or just her pacemaker acting up again? Only time would tell.


10 thoughts on “Worst Romance Novel Opening Ever Contest

  1. Juarhala raised her flamethrower, ready to blast the bejesus out of the animated corpse shuffling toward her. But just before her finger hit the trigger, something made her pause. Maybe it was the spark of intelligence in the zombie’s maggoty eyes. Maybe it was the faint whiff of flowers on its putrid breath. Maybe it was the six-pack concealed under layers of dead, rotting flesh. All Juarhala knew was that this one she couldn’t kill. This one deserved more. This one deserved … love.

  2. I watched as she limped up onto the bus, hair disheveled, dirty-faced, blouse open, no brassiere, trying to hold on to the paper bags that I knew held her life’s belongings, and I wanted her so bad that I sprang from the back of the bus to help her carry those bags while I searched down her blouse for those things that I might delight in and come to love in time.

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